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Why Should You Propose Even If You’re Afraid She’d Say No

Posted on January 03 2020

Why Should You Propose Even If You’re Afraid She’d Say No

Let me guess: Your knees are wobbling, your stomach is churning like crazy, and you’re sweating the palm off your hands. I get it; it’s pretty nerve-wracking. You feel chills come down your spine just thinking about it. Well, I guess if anyone dared to ask the girl of their dreams whether she’d like to spend forever with them or not they’d feel the same way you do now. After all, “Will you marry me?” may just be 4 words and 14 letters but boy, are they big. It’s like that one sentence blew up proportions in the English dictionary.

Anyway, proposing to the woman in your life is one of the hardest things to do. You can be together for decades and still, this question is hard to pop. But I think that the scariest part of it is the fact that there are just two possible answers to the question. It’s a 50-50 chance, the result of which being extremely happy or sad. Just thinking about how everything can go south in a matter of seconds will definitely take a toll on you. Your heart can only take so much tension and suspense.

Still, if you really want to be with this person forever, you have got to take the risk. Otherwise, nothing will ever change and before you know it, you may have just let the girl of your dreams slip away. All because of your own indecisiveness. I know that the possibility of rejection is scary but does it matter anyway?

Why Do You Want To Propose?

I think it’s important that you understand your reasons for proposing before actually doing it. What do you hope to accomplish by asking the big question? Who are you doing it for? Why do you fear rejection? You see, there is no way to know for sure that you’ll get a solid YES. In fact, maybe you won’t get a NO straightaway either. People may not be aware of this but many proposals are met with a “Can I think about it?” You can be with this girl for 5, 7, or 10 years and she can still answer you with a “Can I think about it?”

Why is this so?

Long term relationships are more fragile when it comes to proposals. It’s because you’ve spent such a long time being together that you are quite aware of each other’s shortcomings. You’ve memorized every flaw, every silly thing, every good and redeeming quality about a person that you think to yourself “What more can I possibly discover about this human being? Am I limiting myself by staying in this relationship? If I marry, will anything change at all?” Overfamiliarity is actually a common problem faced by long term couples. And sadly, not all of them overcome the challenge. This is why we hear so many stories about long term relationships breaking up and the ex-couple marrying other people. It’s the opposite of what you’d expect from a long term couple right?

This is also why I think your fears are not without reason. The possibility of her declining your proposal is very much there. You think you know a person until you don’t, after all. But let me tell you something: A proposal is a confession. Even without an answer, it’s a confession.

When you first professed your feelings to the person you love, did you anticipate a positive response? Probably not, right? You probably charged into the field quite aware that she might decline your feelings. She could tell you that she can’t return them but you went for it anyway. Why? It’s because you simply want her to know.

I believe that marriage proposals are the same. Sure, it would be great if the other person says YES and wants the same thing you do but isn’t it also okay if they say NO? The thing is, I don’t think a proposal is a matter of YES or NO. It’s a matter of telling the other person that you adore them so much and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. It’s a beautiful confession of love and commitment. Now, if the person can’t return your feelings or is simply not ready for this big chance, you can worry about what to do after. The most important part of proposing is simply stating how you feel. I think that alone is beautiful.

How Should You Propose?

Now, if that little pep talk got you out of the slump, I bet you can’t sit and wait for the perfect time to pop the question. Well, if you somehow chicken out and end up waiting for too long, someone just might grab that opportunity away from you so man up, buttercup!

If you’re of proposing, the first thing you need (obviously) is a ring – a nice, shiny ring. Mind you, although media tries to sell us on the idea of getting diamonds, you don’t have to push it the budget doesn’t cut. You’ll need more for your married life than for the whole engagement and wedding so save where you can. Wood rings, for instance, make for great engagement and wedding rings. They’re durable, elegant, and classy. It’s a practical choice for couples who adore comfort, style, and convenience.

Also, setting the right mood is important. You need to find a place and set an atmosphere that is meaningful to you as a couple. You can do an outdoor proposal, picnic-style and all, or the classic dinner setting with the violin performance on the side – whichever suits you two better. The only thing you really have to remember is to make this special for your girl, not for anyone else. Get a clue about what she likes, what she finds most beautiful and work on that.